Life has a way of throwing you a few curve balls now and then. I guess its Gods way of letting us know that we really have no control over anything. it was a huge eye opener for me. i have been trying to get my life all figured out. i have been working towards the "perfect future for me". during this journey of finding my life purpose, i walked up to a point with several avenues to choose from.... i faced this major crossroad and decided that i had to make a choice. a very very difficult one. one that took everything to stand by. this experience gave me the wonderful chance to lean on my savior and feel his power, love, and strength.
its funny how when a crisis comes into your life, at least in mine, i am always so quick to question gods love for me. i yell and scream to the heavens, shaking my fist in outrage and think to myself, "how could he leave me?! how could he make me do this on my own?! how on earth am i going to get through this? why does he ask such difficult things?!" and then i calm my ignorant self down. and i reflect on the atonement. i think of the amount of love my savior and my heavenly father have for me. i realize that if i feel like i have to do this alone, there is probably a reason for that. i then begin to see that he really didn't leave me alone. i had help all along! i am just so quick to accuse. so quick to forget, that i'm not able to see the love he had for me all along.
if i have learned anything over the past few days- i have learned that the lord really truly does know how to help me. in all the right ways.
sometimes i feel like my problems are so quizzical compared to the issues that are going on in others lives; and honestly, they really are quite silly, but i am always amazed at how he always finds a way to make sure i know that all issues are important in his eyes. he will help us find strength. always.
i heard a story that touched me, and it really helped me make a lot of these hard decisions a lot easier. its called how to hunt ducks. (im not much of a hunter, i actually hate it. BUT this story really stuck with me and i hope i can remember it all)
When hunting ducks, as most seasoned suck hunters know- there is an exact science to the whole process. its quite simple once you learn it- but it is important that you look for all of the signs to a "weak duck"
seasoned duck hunters know that it is crucial to place decoy ducks down into the middle of the pond. once you have done this, you make sure that you are well hidden... and you wait... ducks will eventually fly over the pond. sometimes you have to wait a very long time for ducks to fly over head, but- they will come, if you are patient.
Finally a group of ducks fly over head. they are in a beautiful straight V formation. All of there necks are beautifully straight. all are out streached,and all of them seem to be flying wonderfully. but, being the seasoned duck hunter that you are.... you don't get out your duck call, to call them down to the lake, you don't try to get there attention in anyway, you simply let them fly on by. Because you know- that when ducks are straight is their formation and their necks are all in line, there is no deviating them from their path. They will not leave their course. They will not deviate from their direction.
but... then, you see a duck formation that isn't in line. They aren't in order and Their V is not straight. So, quickly you get out you duck call, and you invite them to come down to the lake. Hearing you call they will look down towards the lake. They will see you decoy duck, and thinking that the lake is safe, they will begin to descend. As they dive down towards the lake you are able to blow the unsuspecting ducks away. Even though they see the other ducks being killed, they will still continue to to descend, for they have no purpose, they have no direction, and they don't know where else to go. Because of this- you are able to take them all.
The story was them compared to our life. if we don't have a purpose. if we don't know what we want in our life. i we do not know where we want to end, them we will be lost by every obstacle that comes along. We will be deceived and we will be lost. I hope that i can always know what i want. I hope that i can always have a clear vision of my purpose so that the adversary might not capture me and encourage me to loose sight of my goals.