Yes... its true. my last blog post was a very long time ago. Yes its true, I have been slightly MIA. Yes its also true... I haven't picked up my camera in months. All of this is because of a small little embryo that has encapsulated my every thought and action for the last three months. Love that little thing. Its about 3 inches long, and is now what Doctors call a fetus, I know this little creature though as my baby.
August third began with me being late for work, rushing out the door, glancing at the calendar on my fridge and thinking, "lauren do not, do not, do not forget to call your sister on her birthday". Relieved I remembered to make mental note of this I kissed Brett, grabbed my keys, and flew to work. Getting to work a few minutes late, and realizing I forgot my lunch at home on the counter I sighed, opened the freezer at work and grabbed a hot pocket. I smiled at the girls I work with and looked at them like, here we go again, another day in Ogden, I then clocked in, and got into my colleagues car to begin the hour and a half drive to our Odgen office. I remember glancing at the back of my hot pocket label, being mortified at how much sodium was in one of these puppies, and then after struggling through the ingredients I shoved it into my paper bag wishing I had remembered my lunch. We got to work, and as usual began a chaotic day filled with back to back surgeries and repairs. The Doctor I worked for had something come up that ended our schedule early. I remember being relieved by this small gem in the day and was eager to get home and surprise Brett with my early return! Gathering my things to go home, I opened a cupboard to get some supplies for my room and saw the rows and rows of pregnancy tests sitting there that we use for our accutane patients. Upon seeing these I thought, man, these things sure are good to have on hand and grabbed a few. (rest assured I didn't dishonestly take them, for the record, I am allowed to have as many of these as I want lol). I drove home from Ogden, then to my house, and found myself in an empty home.
"Brett! I'm home!!!!!!!" no answer.....
"BD! I'm home earlyyyyy!!!".... no answer
I knew he wasn't there, his car was gone, but I still tried.
I sat on the couch, took off my shoes
-sigh- very boring being home alone.
I walked into the kitchen, opened the cupboards, stared into them aimlessly, walked upstairs heavy footed, changed out of my scrubs, looked at the clock..... seriously? I was so bored. Called Brett, heard his phone buzzing on the counter, realized I could be home alone for who knows how long. bored. This was not how I pictured my early arrival home. I wandered around for a little longer and then remembered, ah yes, the pregnancy tests I brought home. Taking one would entertain me for like what.... three minutes?
now is the time I look back and think, couldn't you have picked up a book? or..... maybe put in a load of laundry? or... started brainstorming for dinner?? lol nope, I, for some reason, thought to take the test. alone.
was I late? no. I wasn't supposed to start for 3 days. Had Brett and I been trying? no. But I took that test anyway, out of boredom lol.
I took the test and I saw a little pink line pop up on the "results" section. I stared at it for a second, and my heart didn't even skip a beat. I laughed inside and said, "oh my goodness. this thing is so poorly crafted. They must have stuck the strip in upside down." Then I saw it, or I thought I saw it.... wait a second..... I am seeing it..... what the! Is that another line showing up on the control?!
This is when I started glancing around, looking over my shoulder, like, are you seein what I'm seein??? Oh my goodness?! Can it be?!!!!
Oh my word. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant!! I sat down on the floor and cried tears of happiness. Then my mind saw an image of a teenager slamming the front door of the house yelling "I hate you!" and I started to hyperventilate. Then I remembered that blasted hot pocket I ate, and I started bawling, sobbing uncontrollably, thinking about how poor my diet had been the last few weeks. We had gone backpaking. I never eat hot dogs, the last few weeks I had eaten 3. my sorrow grew as I realized I hadn't been taking any vitamins. lol I was a wreck. Then I sat there and thought about my husband holding my little one an I cried all over again. Tears of happiness once again.
Brett got home (finally) and I rushed him upstairs, the whole time we were running he was like "what in the world is...." then he saw the test, he let out a war cry, whooped, and holler, and picked me up, and gave me a big ol' kiss. Then we just sat there, for hours soaking it in. processing the whole thing. Speechless is the only word to describe us that night. Reverent and speechless. Needless to say, I forgot to call my sister on her birthday. (sorry!!!!)
Its true, I have been very sick the last three months. I have never thought my body could endure all it has over the past while. But I did it! And baby and I, we are gettin though it together. I want my baby to know that it wasn't an accident, even though this story might seem as much. It was a blessing. We had been thinkin about you for two years and I'm sure you were thinking of us as well.
We are ready for you little one. We are so excited for you to be part of our little adventure together. There is plenty of love to spare and we are reserving it. All. For. You.